I was being busy this afternoon putting pillows in their new cases. I had been sleeping late these last few days and I had this theory it must be because of my bare pillow. So I bought a new pillow and some decent pillow cases. So I took time putting these pillows inside the case, while in my ears, my earphones were busy playing “Starting Over Again” over and over again. Winamp just kept repeating the song for me. LOL. Well, I guess I fell in love with the song, and with the movie of the same title from which it was taken from. Everyone was crazy over that film these days.
So while listening to that song and arranging my pillows inside their cases, a zipper suddenly got stuck. I must have pulled it tightly. So gently, I shook the zipper and pulled it back. Goodness, it moved just a few micrometers. I am not so sure if I saw the movement, but I felt it. I just knew it moved.
After a few seconds, which seemed like years, my patience almost reached its limit. But I am a patient guy and my patience is asymptotic to simply clinching my fists and grinding my teeth. It rarely goes beyond that. And with little strength, I pulled the zipper…. And alas! It…. Oh goodness, my mouth uttered some f words. The zipper was damaged! The slider thing got removed from the teeth. It was only a little force and I was a little shocked. Both my mouth and my new pillow case hang open from the tragedy.
I stared at the ruined zipper and the open case. This OCD portion (well, admit it, everyone has it) made me feel uncomfortable with the hanging mouth of the case. I wanted to close it but I knew I could not repair the zipper, let alone replace it. So while I had this uneasy feeling in me, my earphones kept playing “Starting Over Again”. And oh my, random thoughts suddenly struck me, and there I was with my thoughts again (over again)….
I watched the movie just a few days back. It is basically a romantic film (well, it’s February!) and though it did not end happily, it ended the right way nonetheless. The movie’s theme is about closure, and in one way or another, everyone had issues relating to it. Our stories may not be about love, but still it is about closure and the urge to move on. Closure from guilt and lies. Closure from pain and wounds. Closure from being afraid or incapable. Closure from mistakes. For in our pasts, we had issues we wanted to go back to and make amends with. There are events we wish to correct.
And for many, these events just hold them forever. Like heavy weights in the heart. And though we may have felt we have moved on, and times had eased the pain, there are moments when the guilt or regrets come, pulling strings of sadness in our chest. And into memory lane, we took a lonely trip.
And for some, closure comes. Like when people we had hurt come to forgive us. Like when people we had let go come to thank us. Like when people come again to fill the emptiness inside us. But the sad part is that closure does not always come along. Like when we had lost contact with people. Like not finding them again. Like death….
Finally, I got tired with my thoughts and the music playing over and over again. So I removed the earphones, and laid the pillow, with the damaged zipper down. It was a cold afternoon, I slept.
Image courtesy of James's Place.
