Baktin Diaries: Rise of the Jinxed Club

The “quick” ferry ride provided us a “quick” relief from the rowdy bus crowd. However, no sooner did we find ourselves squeezed again onto our bus seats, enduring hours of long travel, our muscles numb and joints cramped from being immobile for so long. We were still in Visayas, specifically in Samar where the roads are as tight as chicken’s ass.

It was almost noon and I was forcing myself to enjoy the greens through the window when a woman’s shriek electrified the humid air. It was sudden and chilling, as if another mess was about to take place.

“Manong, taeng-tae na ako. Lalabas na talaga ito!” (Manong, I want to poof! It’s coming out now!)

And I was stunned for a second or two. Oh no, not again!

She repeated her plea and the driver was quick to respond. He immediately stopped the bus, and luckily for her, there was a nearby toilet room. So over the mountains of plump baggage and dazed people, she hiked and made her way out of the bus. One by one, others also went out the bus and sprayed their pee everywhere.

So I was relieved there was no annoying explosion of gas, and everyone later went back inside the bus. And just as my butt was about to warm up in my seat, she again announced her plight, the bus stopped, and she delivered her irresistible poof underground. That was twice already! She had bowel problems! Accordingly to her, what she ate – gata (coconut milk) and mantika (oil) – did it! Oh yeah, blame it on the food and not on your unstoppable mouth!

When she boarded the bus again, I was kinda good enough to share my meds to her. Thanks Diatabs! I think it worked since she ate another tableful of food for her lunch.

There must be something kinky in our crowd as we encountered numerous mishaps along the way. During one point, we had to dally for a while as Manong Konduktor had to fix the bus’ overheated radiator. The sun was blazing hot outside and the airconditioning was worse than ever. In another incident, the girl who sat on the aisle near us had puked. Thankfully, her boyfie had earlier asked us for some plastic cellophanes and her bizarre-smelling, brightly-colored semi-solid concoction was not scattered all over. Perhaps, San Juanico Bridge was the biggest disappointment. Not that it was bad! We might have expected so much, courtesy of the breathtaking postcards we had seen, that the reality was an instant downer. Simply said, we had seen better bridges.

On a lighter note, I found myself an unacknowledged BFF. Remember Tita with the dead piglets? Her grandson was acting close to me and sat beside me on my seat. Yeah, we shared seats together as if we were best buddies! All the while, he was eating Choco Knots (which I also had in my bag!) with some cold Royal Tru-Orange to chase it down! And all the while, I was praying he would not puke!

The crowd soon thinned as few people disembarked in some parts of Samar and Leyte. It was an exhausting hot ride through Visayas. I longed to be home, and wish granted, we found ourselves later that night preparing for another ferry ride, this time to Mindanao!

Lesson learned: When riding a ferry with only an “Economy” ticket, do not board the vessel immediately. Instead, board last! When the “Economy” deck is already loaded, which often happens since the bus drivers always buy the cheapest tickets, the stewards will let the last arriving passengers take seats in the “Premium Economy” or “Business Class” sections. That’s what we did and so we had some comfy seats during our ferry ride.

To be continued….

P.S.  Don’t expect for some free refreshments in the “Business Class” section because they are only offered to appropriate guests. They will check your tickets!


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