For the Last Time

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Heart-broken and devastated, I wrote this piece three years ago.....

When we love, we give others the power to break us. Even though they don’t want to…

I met her months ago, when the leaves of late September danced to the afternoon breeze. She was so shy to me back then, would hardly smile nor converse. She is beautiful. But her liveliness, her honesty, and her timid gentleness were what attracted me. And the days went by so quickly. I thought the angels wrote the best story for us. Instead, they played tricks.

Last night, I saw her last. It was the last time that I could hold her hands, the last time I could breathe the same air she was breathing. She would be leaving, going to some faraway place, across oceans and islands, where pastures are greener and milk and honey overflowed. It would be selfish to hold her back. And I know deep inside her, she was breaking. For when I told her things nights ago, she wept. Seeing a girl cry before you is like stabbing yourself a thousand times.

For the last time, I drove her home last night. How I wish the night would never end, that time would stand frozen! As I brought my motorcycle to greater speed, the night air got colder, and her arms around my chest grew tighter. How I wish we could hold on tight to the moment, that the roads would be endless so that we could ride the ride forever! But finally, we reached her house. I took a final glimpse at her face. I’ll miss her eyes and her smile, though they were sorrowful that time. I’ll miss the feel of her touch on my skin. I’ll miss her jolly talks, her innocence, and her candor. I’ll miss everything about her. Yes, technology may connect us but still, it would be different without her by my side.

I guess I would never feel like this way for a while. Until my longing for her is gone… Until what she hopes from me is lost… Until what we hold on to each other is over.

No words could truly describe what I am feeling inside right now. It is immense. And every beating heart knows it. It f***ing hurts.

Photo courtesy of Fotovisura.