Forbidden

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This is one of the rare times (in the last two years or so) when I have nothing good to do but sit in front of my laptop and browse through some zany websites or watch wacky videos. Yes, it is our semestral break and holiday vacation, and almost all school-related things are done. And yes, I am frisking with the World Wide Web when my own network of restless teeny brain cells began taunting me with their outrageous ideas. So in between surfing through multitudes of sites, I started a new blog entry….

It feels like decades had passed since my last blog post so before the scourge of everyday life evaporates my thoughts, I have to write them down…. But nah, I really have nothing to write about but some random things about blah blah and blah…. Yeah, it is shamelessly blah blah blah (*sighs*).

Well, 2016 is about to end and it is a year of ups (downs as well) for me. New years always bring that feeling of renewal and redemption to me. It is something I always look forward to, complete with my what’s-not, where-to, how-should, and to-do lists. Needless to say, it is also a chance to forget the oversights of the previous years and move on from there.

With mistakes, we learn from them. With failures, we become wiser. With heartaches, we grow stronger. Yet, there are things in which forgetting and moving on never come easy. Things that are not easy to get by. Things we cannot simply disregard. Like feelings we are not meant to feel. Or thoughts not supposedly thought of. Or things forbidden to feel and think about….

Like a secret anger.... Like hidden love…. Like well-kept pains…. Like fantasies…..

No matter how much we try to push them away, they will always revisit. More forceful each time. More searing. For these are part of us. Things that define as us a person. Things that will complete us. Things that cheer us.

Mostly, it’s futile to cast such feelings and thoughts away. Better, accept them. Then embrace the anger…. Embrace the love…. Embrace the pains…. Embrace the fantasies….

And just then, my fingers stumble upon an intriguing website. Ugh! Embrace….

Image credit: Shutterstock

Like Cotton Seeds

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These last few days and up until now, it has been raining cotton balls here in the University of the Philippines. What they call here as American cotton trees have seen shooting these balls, covering the green lawn in the Freedom Park with soft whiteness. Even the surrounding willow and acacia trees are covered with them, much like snow coating the pines. These cotton balls each have a seed inside which when lucky to land on good soil and be protected, will grow to become another mighty tree. Here, it is believed that the shower of cotton signify the end of the semester and the celebration of graduation. Indeed, graduation rites in the University will be held days from now.

Beauty Lesson from the Old Acacia Trees

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Everytime I passed by our dormitory and of our neighborhood, I am always captivated by the towering acacia trees. There were several of them and most are very old. I don’t exactly know how old they are, but the ferns and fungi growing on their stout trunk and limbs are shouting antiquity. During the day, they are a picture of humble grandeur, as their mighty branches stir the cool breeze or their fresh green leaves provide shade to passing people. During the night, they are a picture of relaxed serenity, with their gentle hum and slow sway, and with the corn moon casting its soft glow behind them. Everytime I see them, I just could not help but look up and be mesmerized by them. They inspire me with their simple and quiet beauty. Though unnoticed and unappreciated, they continue to hold their limbs up high.

Passing

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Since the jeepney going around the campus does not pass by our building, I have to walk some good distance, maybe a five- to ten-minute walk on broken and crowded sidewalks. It must have been the cold late morning, or the greenness around me that I felt kind of overjoyed with my walk. Never mind that I slept late again last night, or I still have several papers to make, or that there are impending exams by March. Nah, I just did not mind them, I was really into my walk.

Lights of Home

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I had been home for more than 24 hours now. I should have written this piece last night, but too exhausted, I slept the night away and rested the entire day. I had these thoughts running around my head while I was on board on flight 5J 997, bound for General Santos City. So these were my thoughts….

Seasons Change

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It was already half past noon. I was walking back to my dormitory from an inexpensive food store when a light shower poured down. Instinctively, I opened my umbrella and continued my walk. The dorm was still a good distance away so I took time walking slowly, leisurely and pensively.

It Takes Him Time

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August 23, 2010. At about 9:30 am, a disgruntled former senior inspector of the Manila Police District boarded and hijacked a tourist bus which carried 21 tourists from Hong Kong and four Filipinos. After almost an hour and a half, six Hong Kong tourists were freed. During noon, three additional hostages were released. By this time, both local and international television channels aired live footage of the kidnapping as the hijacker became more sullen with each passing hour. The drama continued until nightfall. By half past seven, the first shots fired from within the bus were heard and deaths began mounting. Snipers positioned themselves and policemen futilely attempted to break in through the windows and doors. Almost an hour had passed before the hijacker was shot in the head by police marksmen. In the aftermaths of the event, nine were dead including the perpetrator.

Yolanda and the Filipinos

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Haiyan. Yolanda. Whichever the name is, that typhoon has been a great gauge of strength, resiliency, and unity of the Filipino nation.

It was the 7^th of November, 2013 when Yolanda entered the Philippine shores, initially devastating the sleepy town of Guiuan, Eastern Samar. It was night time and the damage it had brought remained unseen, until the dawn of the next day. By November 8, Yolanda crossed the entire islands of Leyte and Samar, with winds up to 315 km/h (195 mph). Along with the furious winds was the gigantic storm surge, waves reaching as high as 5-6 m (15-19 ft). Waters covered the whole City of Tacloban and those who were unfortunate to reach high grounds were drowned and killed. Buildings and churches toppled. Boats and ships were thrown on land. Trees were uprooted and lives were wasted. By November 10, Yolanda exited the country, leaving ruined cities and provinces, broken lives, and a shocked nation.

The Wall

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For the last few months, I have been recycling my articles in my blogs, republishing old works or scanning through my tattered notebooks looking for some relevant pieces. It’s just that my mind could not think of anything worth writing for and publishing. I just could not find the inspiration to write, not to mention the pressure I have from my present situations, deadlines to beat from my other engagements, and the temptation from Candy Crash, Urban Rivals, and various other online games.

Shaken

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October 15, 2013. A 7.2 magnitude earthquake struck Central Visayas. With epicenter at Carmen, Bohol, the earthquake shook to destruction many buildings in Cebu and Bohol. Hotels were cracked and old churches were almost brought to dust. The energy released by the quake was claimed to be equivalent to 32 Hiroshima bombs.

The Flowers Have Gone

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Two years ago, I wrote this piece about my graduating students....

There were showers of garlands everywhere – garlands of fresh flowers and plastic ones, few have notes with message like “Congratulations!” or “Happy graduation!”.  But I could not smell the fragrance of these flowers for the day was hot, the heat of dry ground and the occasional gust of fine dust fouled the air. Nonetheless, nothing could stop the festivity as sweaty faces smiled to each flash of the camera.

Lessons From My Students

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It has been a number of years now since I started teaching at the local university. It has been very hard at the beginning since I was hired the same year I graduated. My first students were my “friends” and “fellows”, and it was really kind of awkward being addressed as “Sir” and shifting relationships from their “big brother” to their “teacher”. I soon got the hang of it and finally enjoyed my job.

Birds Fly

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Three years ago, while recovering from leg fracture, I wrote this reflection....

Friday afternoon, I was waiting for my neighbor to pick me up at school. I still cannot walk right from a fracture I had so somebody would have to fetch me at school every day. So I was waiting for him, seated alone on a bench, and it was past five in the afternoon, when I noticed a flock of birds perched on the transmission line. It was a large group, maybe a hundred or more. Locally known as “lansang”, they were singing (or should I say making noise). It rained hard earlier that afternoon, and the wet grass, the smell of drenched soil and the song of birds were creating a pastoral atmosphere. It was peaceful, and so I sat there waiting, watching the birds. Watching the birds, oblivious to time and to the electricity, made me think of my own life and others as well. Life and time are two inseparable things.

Sand Sculptures

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I was looking through some photos of my students in a beach activity when I noticed sand sculptures on them. They were only on the background but they caught my attention. They were really beautiful, I supposed they were more beautiful than my students. LOL!

Random Thoughts

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There are times when we are too tired that our head takes on random pieces of thoughts. On this subject that I wrote this article six years ago in my Friendster account....

You are walking hand in hand with her, the afternoon breeze blowing the folds of her skirt, her eyes sparkling for every word she says or for every smile she does. The grassed path is gentle beneath your treads. And the earth smells of life and happiness.

The Chicken and the Fence

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Two years ago, I wrote this reflection about my students struggling with their academic loads....

Sometimes, we must try something else to succeed rather than trying harder….

I was spending some quiet hours in our swing when I noticed our chicken attempting to get out of the fence. With all her energy, she kept walking to and fro along the span of the wire fence and sometimes trying to fly over it. The greater space outside, or the site of greener grounds, must have tempted her to get out of our yard. Her walk seemed frantic, and from time to time, she pushed herself through it to no avail. She occasionally cackled, as if begging me to help her escape.

The Road Much Taken

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Nearly two years ago, after a devastating earthquake overwhelmed Japan, I wrote this short reflection....

For more than eight years now, I have been traveling through this road on my way to the office. For this morning, and even for the past mornings, I found it hard to maneuver my motorcycle through this road. The path is really sandy, and along the way, there are humps and holes.

Gravity

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Years ago (though I feel this must have happened decades or ages ago), when I was younger and more restless, I wrote this piece over a very bad hangover....

I woke up this morning with a terrible headache and a very bad breath. I got home at around three this morning and the few hours of sleep were making me too dizzy. Nonetheless, I had to get up and start the day despite my protesting eyes.

My Father and I

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Two years ago, I wrote this short memorial about my father.... 

Today is my father’s third death anniversary. Three years have already passed but it seems like yesterday. Not that I have not moved on with my life without him, or that I am still haunted with his memories. I simply missed him.

In Twenty Years

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When I was 23, I wrote this reflection....

It’s Mark Twain’s words. I forget the exact quote (sorry Twain) since I only had a glimpse of it on the wall (when I was passing through the hallway) of a company office months ago. It goes something like this: In 20 years, you will be more disappointed not by the things you did, but by the things you did not do.

Like a cassette tape rewinding, my mind had instantly raced back to my memories twenty years ago. And yes, I could not remember any good thing. Damn, twenty years ago I was only three years old - still the unknowing kid. LOL